I believed that I was an extremist. Boiling everything down to 0 or 100, leaving no room for the in-between shades. To some extent that is true too. But figuring out to what extent is like trying to solve a Rubik cube blindfolded.
Life, people say, should be balanced and that you cannot live in the extremities. Although extreme living can be adventurous for a while, but in the long run, sustaining such a lifestyle proves impractical. This never quite resonated with me. My upbringing and the society I grew up in dictated me in the absolutes- this is RIGHT and this is WRONG, no questions asked. I have always been the curious kid, always asking, but the answers were as elusive as the shadows. So, I defaulted back to the simplicity of Black and White world. The in-between, I later realized, was unknown to me.
Child Marriage
The in-between gradually found its way into my life as I grew older, a slow infusion of color into my black and white existence. Child marriage was unequivocally WRONG for me, no arguments. Until I found myself alongside a counselor, pleading with parents not to marry off their 12-year-old daughter. The father, in tears, hugging his daughter, dropped words that rattled my certainty.
"I love my daughter very dearly. If I don't marry her off, she will die. We have been homeless, struggling to get a single meal a day. I want my daughter to live and eat well. Even if it means marrying her off for a better chance of survival."
This very interplay of social and economic factors made child marriage look like a seamless transaction. Suddenly, child marriage wasn't just wrong. It was a desperate survival-driven plea. It made me question the moral absoluteness of the issues like child marriage. Is it wrong for father to wish a better life for his daughter? To prioritize daughter's survival over societal norms? Or is it better to die than marry at such an early age? The in-between emerged blurring the lines between right and wrong, introducing me to the gray zone of morality and pulling me out from the binary worldview.
Existentialism and Existential Absurdity
Then there's this whole existentialism and existential absurdity dilemma. These terms, introduced to me during my Sociology class, added a new layer to my overthinking. Creating and finding meaning and purpose of our lives on our own versus the world that lacks inherent meaning and purpose. Not a binary choice. Yet, they are so intertwined in the realm of human experiences.
All of us have a quest for meaning of life and are constantly driven towards the becoming of I. Pursuing our dreams, goals, happiness, wealth and so on to become the better versions of ourselves. To add meaning to our lives. But the monotony of daily routines? Imagine the everyday tasks – sleeping, waking up, eating, commuting. This daily grind feels like Sisyphean task. No matter what we do, in the grand scheme of cosmos, human life is irrational and nonsensical, bounded to meet with the nothingness of inevitable death. Yet, we keep going. We live in the in-between. Knowing both ends but choosing to do our thing.
Beliefs and Spirituality
Do I believe in gods? The answer is I don't know. I have never had any divine encounter. But do I not have faith? Yes, I do. Call it the universe or the divine nature or the gods. Or the remnants of childhood indoctrination, but something is there. Also, I might have one reasoning. Had there not been any gain or benefit, why would the humans, the most intelligent and selfish creatures, waste these many resources for generations and generations in the name god? That too without any personal profit? Nah. No logic or scientific evidence to prove this hypothesis yet. But I can't shake the feeling that there's more to what meets the eye.
Faith and doubt coexist. And I have found my refuge in the somewhere-in-between -spirituality. While the spiritual beliefs are fluid and ever evolving, I have learnt to recognize doubt without dismissing the power of faith. Seeing the divine in ordinary moments of life and people and blurring the lines between sacred and mundane, developing a sense of spiritual conviction while being open to new insights, and having awareness of interconnectedness of all beings while finding my own spiritual path, creating my unique in-between. At last, is everything not about relating to our personal journey?
Paradox of Freedom
Enter the paradox of freedom-are we truly free or is it just a façade? Or is it that we are given a few options to choose from and a false sense of freedom is instilled within us? True freedom with limited options in a world of scarce resources-a tough nut to crack. Neither we are liberated, nor we are captivated. In society, an individual is free to do anything but if that does not harm others. Here, I find an in-between dance between individual freedom and the societal harmony. Adding a layer to this nuanced human understanding and experiences. And delicately averting the anarchy on the freedom of others. Now the question is Does Somewhere-in- between offer an escape or do we really need this place?
Somewhere-in-between Approaches in Life
Now, let's dive into the somewhere-in-between approaches in life. Life throws dichotomies at us- joy and sorrow, success and failure, and so on. But is it all that life has to offer? No, a wide range of spectrum is present in between these contrasting experiences. Somewhere-in-between is where opposing elements blend, creating a richer understanding of life. Acknowledging the coexistence, learning, balancing, adapting, embracing, and becoming more resilient- that's the game.
How beautiful is this fertile ground of dichotomies' coexistence, learning from the opposites, balancing self-expression, and social harmony, adapting to the environment, embracing imperfections, and cultivating resilience. This place has been my guiding principle as I navigate life. Finding peace and solace in this Somewhere-in-between, I have encountered it in various aspects of life. Balancing structured knowledge and creativity in holistic learning system, navigating fine line between permissiveness and strictness for effective parenting, blending political moderation with both liberal and conservative values for pragmatic solutions, achieving work-life balance for optimal productivity and fulfilment, purposeful and measured mindful technology use, taking calculated risks for business growth, managing personal finances with saving and wise-spending – these are integral Somewhere-in-between approaches used in our daily lives.
Conclusion
Embracing "Somewhere in between" while navigating life itself has been a profound journey of finding the equilibrium, a dance between certainty and ambiguity and exploration of the muted colors in the colorful canvas of life. But wait that doesn't mean I am devoid of questions. Does somewhere in-between exist in the gray? Or is this a middle ground where we are just trying to convince ourselves when we don't have a straight Yes or No outcome? Is this a place of ambiguous nature or is it a place of balance and moderation? Or is this a way of theorizing our own beliefs and principles into creating a false sense of control over our life decisions?
Well, maybe but that's the beauty of this place. These harmonies of uncertainty with lingering possibilities make this place worth thinking about and exploring. It invites exploration and contemplation, leaving you to shape your journey based on what or how you choose to believe, or not believe at all. This, for me, is the essence of life and I wouldn't have it any other way.